


Show Me Love (Hold The Lorn)

by Subtlety Lost (fishstic)



Series: Named for Andraste [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: (it's more of a reference/implied reference nothing like that happens inside the story), Andrea: No Fear! A Single thought: "Josephine might not like you anymore" Andrea: One Fear, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Josephine is not as oblivious as Leliana thinks she is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 12:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18194489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishstic/pseuds/Subtlety%20Lost
Summary: The longer Andrea stays in Haven, the more she learns, the more she starts to believe maybe it really divine intervention that led her down this path.--Andrea thought she'd lost her first love long ago. She tried, despite her family--or perhaps in spite of them--to regain contact with her, to reach out to someone who loved her unconditionally. It almost killed her.Lady Josephine Montilyet once, when she was 12 years old and selfish, called her mother a liar for something she hadn't even understood. She thought she'd lost her love more than once.The two lovelorn women, felt destiny had forced them apart--forever. Now, in Haven, in the eyes of the Maker, and perhaps through the will of Andraste herself, they have a chance. Perhaps--though it may be something akin to heresy to say it--Andraste chose her namesake to be Her Herald for a reason.





	Show Me Love (Hold The Lorn)

**Author's Note:**

> I still suck at summaries. I hadn't planned on continuing this series after the first fic, originally. When I wrote the first one, I was "at the end" of my Dragon Age phase, I thought. Now I realize the phase didn't end, it only hibernated. Thank you to everyone who kudos or comments on these fics. I really appreciate y'all.

Andrea stared at the door hesitantly. She knew it should be simple, just open the door and talk to Josephine. _What do I even say? ‘Sorry for not talking to you for like, seven years, I almost died.’ That’s the lamest excuse ever._

“I doubt the door will bite you, Sister,” a voice interrupted her concentration.

Andrea almost instinctively hit the person behind her as she turned around, but stopped short when she saw the familiar red-hair of her only-like-a-year-younger brother. “Jack! You’re actually here!”

“Of course,” Jack replied. “Ostwick might be something akin to like a prison for me, but some skilled person with like, this really weird armor and a bird... some elf I think? Anyways, someone came and said to ‘ignore their grey-warden get up’ because they weren’t ‘actually’ conscripting me, it was just a convenient excuse to get me out of Ostwick, and here in Haven with you. Strange, in Ostwick we haven’t heard much about this whole Inquisition thing. I think Tomas might be censuring it.”

“Because he can’t stand that I’m doing something helpful that has nothing to do with him, I’d bet,” Andrea replied.

“So what’s so special behind that door?” Jack asked reaching around her to open the door himself.

“Nothing!” Andrea squeaked. “Just... an old friend.”

“Oh! Is it your girlfriend?” Jack teased. “The _Lady Josie_?”

“By Andraste, some day I swear I’m going to kick your—“

“Now that’s no way for _Her_ Herald to talk,” Jack laughed. “Come now, Sister. If it is Lady Montilyet, why are you so hesitant to speak to her? The last time I heard, you planned on asking her for her hand in marriage.”

“That was...” Andrea bit her lip. That was what caused the fight that had left her scarred and nearly dead. “A long time ago.”

“Are you scared she’ll be upset?” Jack asked, moving her away from the door because some guy in a weird squarish yellow mask was waiting to speak to the ambassador himself. “It’s not like it was your fault that Tomas intercepted your letters to her.”

“I’m not sure she recognized me,” Andrea replied. _‘Is the tea to your liking? It’s compliments of Lady Montilyet.’_ Henrietta’s words rang through her head, reminding her how much of a lie she knew that was. Josephine remembered her well enough to remember what her favorite kind of tea was. She wasn’t sure what she should do.

“It...” She fell silent then said quietly, “I’m going to talk to her.”

“Oh, but that—”

“I’m sure Josephine wouldn’t mind my interruption,” Andrea replied. “If I’m really Her Herald then I’m going to have to get used to talking to diplomats. I’m ‘uniquely suited’ to gathering allies. Josephine said so herself.”

“I’ll wait here,” Jack replied.

Andrea nodded and patted her brother’s arm gently. “Thanks,” she said, “for lending me your courage.”

Jack simply smiled in reply and walked around her. “I think this...” he motioned toward Mother Giselle, “nice lady might be able to answer some of my questions.”

“I’m sure Mother Giselle would be more than happy to assist you in any way she can. Careful though, you’re a talented healer, she might put you to work,” her tone was light and joking. She knew her brother would be more than willing to help out if it’s what Mother Giselle asked of him.

She steeled herself and turned back to the door. Taking a single breath before she opened it carefully. “J—“

Andrea’s entrance had interrupted the conversation, evident from the man in the mask’s annoyed look that was palpable even despite the mask.

“Do you—” Josephine started then noticed Andrea’s presence and said, “Ah, Marquis, allow me to introduce to you the brave soul who risked her life to slow the magic of the Breach. Lady Andrea Trevelyan of Ostwick. This is the Marquis DuRellion.”

“Charmed,” Andrea replied.

“A pleasure,” the Marquis replied. “However, as the rightful owner of Haven, I cannot allow this Inquisition to stay. House DuRellion lent Justinia these lands for a pilgrimage, this Inquisition is not beneficiary of that arrangement.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of Haven having an owner outside the chantry,” Andrea said.

“My wife—Lady Machen of Denerim has claim to this land through ancient treaty with the kings of Ferelden,” the Marquis replied.

“You’ve come at an inopportune time, Marquis,” Josephine said, “more of the faithful flock here every day.”

“Regardless, The Inquisition simply cannot remain Ambassador, if it cannot prove it was founded on Justinia’s orders.”

“Interesting, since it was founded by the Left and Right hands of the Divine,” Andrea said.

“Yet, neither Seeker Pentaghast nor Sister Leliana have managed to provide any written proof that Justinia authorized this,” the Marquis replied.

“Well, I’m afraid if he won’t take her at her word,” Josephine said, directed at Andrea, who gave no acknowledgement that she had no idea what Josephine was planning on saying, “then I’m afraid Cassandra must challenge him to a duel. It is a matter of honor among the Nevarrans. Shall I arrange the bout for tonight?”

“No, wait. Perhaps I was... a little hasty,” the Marquis said quickly backpedaling on his earlier protests.

“These are trying times, Marquis, but Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would instead encourage us all to work together to overcome these obstacles,” Josephine said.

_Maker she’s so beautiful when she’s doing that absolutely stunning diplomacy thing._

“I... will think on it, Lady Montilyet. The Inquisition... might stay in the meanwhile,” the Marquis replied, bowing slightly before he left.

“Do the DuRellions actually have a claim on this place?” Andrea asked, shutting the door after he left. “I’m positive that’s something I should have heard about before now.”

“His Grace’s position is not so strong as he presents,” Josephine replied. “Lady Machen might be from Denerim but make no mistake about it, the DuRellions are Orlesian, and if the Marquis wishes to claim Haven, Empress Celene must negotiate with Ferelden on his behalf. I’m afraid her current concerns are quite a bit larger than this at the moment.”

Andrea nodded and was silent for a moment as she contemplated what to say next.

“Did you come here for a reason, Lady Trevelyan?”

“Please call me Andrea, like you used to,” Andrea replied, glad to have the opportunity to say _anything_ without really having to think about it.

“Did you come here for a reason, Andrea?” Josephine corrected.

“I... feel like I need to apologize to you, Lady Josephine,” Andrea replied.

“Ah, please call me Josie, like _you_ used to,” Josephine replied. “And whatever could you have to apologize for?”

“I... feel like I gave you the impression that I did not remember you,” Andrea said, “Like I made you feel like I had forgotten about you. But, that could not be further from the truth. I-I tried to write you, but... my brother, Teyrn Trevelyan, he... intercepted the letters, after our father stepped down and refused to let me actually send them to you.”

Josephine nodded. “Why would he do that?”

“Because—” she frowned. _How do I tell her? How do I admit to her? ‘I was trying to ask for your hand in marriage and he hated that.’ How do you explain that?_

“Andrea, are you alright?” Josephine interrupted. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

 _Well, shit._ “It’s... nothing,” Andrea said, starting to turn around. “Forget I said anything. I’ll just—”

She stopped cold when Josephine took her hand. “Andrea, please don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you again. When your letters stopped coming, I thought something terrible must have happened to you. When Lady Trevelyan stopped inviting the Montilyets to her parties, I was _sure_ that something must have happened.”

Andrea turned around to face Josephine again intent on letting her know that the reason the parties had stopped was because Great-Aunt Lucille had gotten sick, but upon seeing the pleading fearful look in her eyes, said nothing.

“When no one would tell me where you went; when searching for you in Ostwick turned up nothing but rumors of some kind of duel that you had apparently lost, I thought for sure that you had died,” Josephine said. “I was convinced of it. Until I heard a different rumor. A rumor that some ‘Trevelyan girl’ had rejoined the chantry and had worked her way up to being the right hand woman of the Revered Mother of the Ostwick chantry. I thought then, ‘surely that must be Andrea.’”

Josephine paused for a moment, to regain her composure, then continued, “But, even so, I still... I still couldn’t reach you. My letters seemed to fall in front of blind eyes. No response, not even a courtesy ‘sorry, but the person you’re looking for is not here’, just _nothing._ I thought... yes, I did for a while think that maybe you had forgotten about me. But I never thought that it was anything against you. I heard about a duel, I assumed if you’d forgotten me, it must have been because of whatever happened either in that duel or to cause it.”

Andrea sucked in a breath. Now _Josie_ looked like she was about to cry.

“And then, I had come to the Conclave at the request of a dear friend of mine, Leliana,” Josephine said. “And I saw _you_. Here, _alive_ , with the Revered Mother of Ostwick and a few other sisters. I almost talked to you then. I almost approached you. But you headed up to the Conclave with her, and I stayed here. Then—then the explosion happened, and... I thought I’d lost you again. I thought ‘ _I was so close, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye.’”_

“Josie, I’m—” Andrea started but fell short. She wasn’t sure what to say, what she _could_ say that would ease Josephine’s pain.

“But you survived that, and you stopped the Breach from getting any bigger—which almost killed you, _again._ Andrea, I’ve lost or almost lost you too many times. Please, I can’t lose you again. Please, don’t just walk away from me. Don’t just tell me to ‘forget’ what you said. Andrea, I... you’re too important to me. Please, just talk to me.”

“The duel,” Andrea said, “that first thing that made you think I had died. I... know what that was, what it referred to. It wasn’t a duel between _me_ and someone else. It was a duel between Tomas and Jack that I... interrupted.”

“If you weren’t one of the dueling parties, then how did you ‘lose’ the duel?” Josephine inquired.

“I interrupted it, none too willingly. Jack was... trying to defend me, trying to defend my... my desire to leave,” Andrea replied. “He came at Tomas with a dagger—unwilling to use his magic, it was supposed to be a fair fight. But Tomas never fights fair. He pushed me in the way as I stood there begging them not to fight. Essentially, he used me as a shield. I... was lucky, the way I stumbled when he pushed me, the dagger didn’t cut the vein. It sliced me, right here—” she drew a line over the scar on her neck, right where the left side of her chin met her neck. “I almost died, Tomas fled as the ‘winner’ of the duel by his own declaration. Not even waiting around to see if I survived that move.”

“How did you survive?”

“Jack, he used his knowledge of healing magic to stop the bleeding and start the healing process,” Andrea replied. “I asked him not to heal it completely, to ‘let it leave a scar.’ I wanted proof, a physical reminder of why Tomas needs to be dethroned. Of... how dead set against me he is. Of... of what love means.”

“How is that scar a reminder of what love means?” Josephine asked.

“The thing that started the fight,” Andrea replied, “was...” she took a deep breath and then another. “I was going to leave Ostwick. I was going to go to Antiva.”

“To Antiva?”

“Yes.”

“What were you going to do in Antiva? You don’t even speak Antivan... do you?”

“Your mom had been teaching me for quite some time, Josie. I... was going to ask you if you had... reconsidered your position on your mother’s proposal.”

“On my...” Josephine thought about that for a moment, then gasped. “You mean you were going to ask me if I still thought we were too young to get married?”

Andrea nodded, afraid of what Josephine might actually say to that.

“You do understand that we were _twelve_ when my mother made that proposal, right?” Josephine asked. “I didn’t actually think she was serious about it.”

“And this was... six, maybe seven, years later,” Andrea said sheepishly. “I thought, ‘maybe now we’re old enough, and she’ll see how much I care and she’ll say yes.’ But Tomas kept intercepting all my letters I was trying to send, asking you to come back to Ostwick, asking you if we could talk, asking you... why you stopped writing me. It turned out—”

“I was writing to you,” Josephine interrupted, “and Tomas... wasn’t letting you receive the letters.”

“I spent so long thinking I’d done something to upset you,” Andrea said, “that eventually I decided to go to Antiva and talk to you in person. To try to sort it all out. I figured, if I couldn’t get you to come to me, I’d go to you. I... you didn’t think her proposal was serious?”

Josephine shook her head. “I thought she was just saying that because she didn’t like how your father and siblings didn’t do anything about people who were... harassing you at those parties. I thought, well, I mostly thought she was announcing her intention to _take you with us_.”

“Then why did you say no?” Andrea asked.

“I was twelve years old and selfish,” Josephine replied. “I thought her saying that, I thought it meant she wanted you for a daughter. Like somehow me and my siblings weren’t enough. I-I was jealous. I didn’t think me saying no would actually stop her from taking you. Somewhere deep down I knew she was trying to save you from something, but I couldn’t figure out what. I knew you hated the parties, that you hated most of the guests. You always tried to prank them, to hurt them in some way. ‘Modest in temper, bold in deed.’”

“You _still_ know the Trevelyan family motto? By heart?” Andrea asked. “I... so you weren’t saying no because you didn’t like me?”

“On the contrary, I liked you a great deal,” Josephine replied. “Which is why I was _sure_ that my mom would still bring you with us even after I said I didn’t want to marry you yet. When she left you behind, I cried, I hate to admit that, but I did.”

“You... cried because she left me there?”

“I got really mad at her too,” Josephine admitted. “I argued with her.”

“Hard to imagine you arguing with your mother over me,” Andrea said. “We were just friends, weren’t we?”

“Oh... well... I didn’t see it that way,” Josephine said quietly, “When I said that I didn’t want to marry you yet, I assumed that it automatically made us engaged, affianced, betrothed, whatever term you think is most appropriate... but well, I didn’t know the right term at the time, so I argued with my mother about leaving ‘my future wife’ behind with a family that you ‘hate.’ My father thought it was the most adorable thing, until mother explained the situation to him. She never fully explained it to me, though. I still have no idea what she was trying to save you from. I... it must have been really bad.”

“I won’t sugarcoat it, Josie, it was terrible,” Andrea said. “You remember how some guests would ‘harass me’ right?”

“The noblemen who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, right?” Josephine asked. “The ones I stabbed with a fork for trying to touch me?”

“Yeah, it was... not that simple, not when I started getting older,” Andrea whispered, trembling slightly. “I... I don’t think I can talk about it in specifics, yet. I’m not strong enough. Just... My father and siblings, all except for Jack—who was in the circle by that point—treated me like my only reason for existing was to entertain guests. Specifically, the male guests. I suppose you can imagine, with the kind of guests I was forced to be around, what that might have entailed. Mother wasn’t like that. She loved me, and was trying to get the Chantry to take me in because she knew my father hated me.”

“You did end up with the Chantry,” Josephine noted. “For a while when you were young.”

“I was so little, then when I was eight, I had to go back home because mother and I both got really sick. Mother passed away that summer, and father refused to let me go back to the Chantry, claiming it was my fault mother died. Me and my ‘dumb’ idea that I might be divine someday. He claimed that if she hadn’t been there helping me with my studies, she’d still be alive.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say to a child,” Josephine gasped.

“It wasn’t the worst thing he ever said to me, not by a long shot.” Andrea looked away for a moment, and finally noticed that they were completely alone in the room. “Where did Minaeve go?”

“She left when we started talking,” Josephine replied. “Perhaps she wanted to give us some privacy? I will admit I dislike having her in here—as a person, I don’t mind her presence at all—it’s just all those... things, the soldiers bring back for her to research.” Josephine shivered slightly. “But she is very nice, polite, and kind of quiet.”

There was a knock on the door, interrupting them. Josephine sighed slightly.

“I should leave you to your work, Josie. It’s probably... for the best. I’ve bothered you enough today.”

“On the contrary, Andrea, it’s not a bother at all,” Josephine replied. “I’m glad, despite the things you’ve revealed to me, or maybe in spite of them, that you still remember me. That you still... care.”

“I meant what I said, Josie,” Andrea said as she gently hugged Josephine. “The day of that fight, I was planning on leaving Ostwick so I could ask you to marry me.”

“If it matters now,” Josephine replied. “Back then I would have said yes.”

“Back then?” Andrea nodded slightly, and then slowly shook her head. “But not now?”

“These are troubling times, Andrea,” Josephine replied, “I don’t think it wise for either of us... to attempt getting married at the moment. You are, after all, not looked upon favorably by the Chantry at the moment. And my duties keep me so busy I don’t think I’d be able to find time around them to arrange for the ceremony. No, for now, it is best if we do not get married. Besides, it’s been so long since we’ve been together, and we’ve both changed and grown so much. There’s so much we don’t know about each other anymore. Perhaps we could... start at the beginning?”

“You mean, properly court each other?” Andrea asked. “I think I would like that.”

The knock returned, this time followed by a voice, “Ambassador, I’m not sure why Minaeve won’t let me just open the door, but your presence has been requested in the War Room. If you...” the voice was quiet for a moment seemingly conferring with someone on the other side, then it continued, “If you and the Herald would please join Seeker Cassandra, Commander Cullen, and Sister Leliana in there, that would be most appreciated.”

“Well be there momentarily,” Josephine replied. “Well, _Herald_ , it seems duty calls.”

Andrea sighed and nodded. “Maybe they’re going to lecture me about whether or not I think Mother Giselle’s idea of speaking to the Clerics is a good idea. You know, some of the names she gave, are... people I know from working under Revered Mother Emeline. Some of them, I doubt they actually believe the rumors about me. About how I’m ‘Her Herald’. They know me.”

“If they don’t believe it, what do you think they’re trying to accomplish by denouncing you?”

“Not being called heretics themselves, I’d bet,” Andrea replied as she turned to the door, “or trying to increase the chance that they might become Divine. It’s hard to tell. Even clerics are people too.”

Josephine followed after Andrea and said simply, “Well, whatever the reason for this meeting, I’m glad you and I are no longer going to be causing Leliana to have that look on her face.”

“Oh that suspicious look of ‘why don’t they just talk to each other? Do they actually know each other or do they just think they know each other?’” Andrea asked.

“It’s more a look of ‘if they don’t sit down and talk to each other and stop throwing fearful love-sick looks at each other when they think no one is looking, I’m going to make them sit down and talk myself.’”

“Well, either way, she should stop once she figures out—”

“Once I figure out what?” Leliana’s voice interrupted from the door to the war room.

“Nothing!” Andrea squeaked in embarrassment at being caught out on talking about someone.

Josephine chuckled. “Once you figure out that she _talked_ to me.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I thought you’d be sending her her favorite tea forever without her ever having the courage to even just tell you thank you, herself.”

“Sometimes you frighten me, Sister Leliana,” Andrea replied.

“Perhaps that is the point, Herald,” Leliana replied as she headed back into the room with them following.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a reference to the Nightwish song "Dead Boy's Poem" [listen here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e-AeRiDEBw) or [a live version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ85O-aOTX0)


End file.
